What I've Done
by The High Queen Of Angst
Summary: My gift to a very special birthday girl. Happy Birthday, Newborn Hope. I sincerely hope you enjoy this gift, and that it makes your day very special. Special just like you! Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Knight. *Complete*


**A/N: This comes as a birthday present to someone very dear to my heart. If I actually had one... My second birthday gift to you, my Newborn Hope. And I have cherished every single day we continue to be friends. Happy Birthday!**

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Walking through the halls, she could still hear the elegant music of the masquerade ball. Faint. But it was still there, lingering. Like the sensation of the fabric of her dress, though it had long since been removed. Along with this place...and him. Where she was going, he couldn't go. Wouldn't go. But she had to, having already settled herself with the choice in her heart.

_In this farewell  
There's no blood  
There's no alibi  
'Cause I've drawn regret  
From the truth  
Of a thousand lies_

This was not the first time she had been forced to make this same decision. But...things felt so different now. He had been so angry with her then. He had told her to go. To leave him. And she had. Because, like now, she knew she had to follow her heart. Her heart, that was violently ripped between the two of them. Sealed in it's agony with his kiss.

She remembered what she had said to him. What she had vowed. To continue running so that he would always have an enemy to chase. For, if she could no longer be his friend, then she knew. This was the only way to keep him while pursuing what she wanted. _Who_ she wanted. But what she was really telling him...in her heart...in that moment...was _'chase me...follow me...come after me...'_ He never did. Because she had become something he could no longer love.

_So let mercy come  
And wash away  
What I've done_

_I'll face myself_  
_To cross out what I've become_  
_Erase myself_  
_And let go of what I've done_

Gently touching her slender fingers to her lips, she could still feel the searing pain. Brought back to life by tonight's dance. She felt her heart race at the mere memory of tonight. Stretching on her toes as their lips met for the second time. Her fingertips sliding through his sliver hair, her eyes meeting his amethyst gaze. Tonight had been different. They were no longer enemies. A truce spoken through soft touches and fingers lingering along the lace of her dress as they danced. No. Tonight was different. But...her heart was still the same.

_Put to rest  
What you thought of me  
While I clean this slate  
With the hands of uncertainty_

Her heart was the same. But that hadn't washed away the doubt. If she left now, with what she knew, it would destroy him all over again. And she couldn't live with herself if that happened. But a part of her was selfish. So very selfish. She didn't want him to forget her. She wanted him to remember. How he felt. About her. And even though her heart was taking her down this path, she still cared about him. This was the most merciful thing she could think to do. If he forgot her now, they _both_ had a chance at happiness.

_So let mercy come  
And wash away  
What I've done_

_I'll face myself_  
_To cross out what I've become_  
_Erase myself_  
_And let go of what I've done_

Standing outside of his room, she wondered what things _might_ have been like. If things had been different. But they weren't. A fact he had heartlessly pointed out. Always the realist, bringing her back down from the clouds of her fantasy. Bringing her to a painful reality that continually separated them. Putting them at odds. Against each other. And it was in that moment that she understood what she must do. In forgetting her, their fates would be severed forever. And she had made that happen. His memory wiped clean...she could go on her way. Her heart shattered into pieces. His heart left intact with the memories she had stolen.

_For what I've done_

_I start again_

_And whatever pain may come_

_Today this ends_

_I'm forgiving what I've done!_

_I'll face myself_  
_To cross out what I've become_  
_Erase myself_  
_And let go of what I've done_

Walking through the halls, she entered into the cool of the night. Leaving behind everything in search of her heart's desire.

_What I've done_

In leaving behind her past for an uncertain future, Yuuki only hoped that when they met again..._if_ they met again...that it would be as friends. But maybe that was too much to hope for. She knew that in following the desire of her heat, pursuing the one she wanted, that there was no room for that. No room for him. No room for forgiveness. For what she had done.

_Forgiving what I've done_

**The End**

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**A/N: Featured lyrics in this story are from the song "What I've Done" by Linkin Park.**


End file.
